Few Days Away

We decided only last week that as a family we needed a little break. Things have been getting a bit tense - with Mike looking for work, (which is alien to him having never been unemployed) the house seems to be in state for most of the time, home education feels to me as if it isnt going to well (was also worried that Labour would win the election and Ed Balls would make life for HE'rs very difficult) and so on and so on.

A lot of the time though I am worried about not getting it right as a parent, especially as James is quite a handful,plus the added worry of his Epilepsy. Therefore, James seems to get so much more attention than Becky and Danny - or so I think.

Anyway, I digress, our break away started on Monday, we decided that we would not go too far because it was the first time we had been away from home since James was diagnosed with Epilepsy last November, and we were a little anxious.

We stayed in a lovely little apartment, on a really nice site which was a 7 minute walk from the beach. The weather was fine, bit chilly some days,but no rain.

We played Crazy Golf, tennis, football, netball, went to the park, went for walks on the beach, flew our kite, and James and Becky even went in the sea (with wet suits of course). Ate lots of chips (diet Monday)watched films, played cards and went to the amusements.

The only sad part was that they had a lovely pool, but James's Doc has said that as his meds are still under investigation, and that he hasnt been seizure free for more than 3 months, that his advice is to not take him swimming. So when James had his nap,Mike took the older two to the pool.They were all very upset about going first of all, but I said that he really wouldnt know and they deserved some fun, as they too have had a difficult time.

So, do we all feel refreshed -well, have loads of unpacking still to do,lots of laundry,and the house is still a mess.

But - I did a lot of thinking while we were away and have come to the conclusion that:-

My house will be tidy when the children are grown up and have left home, until that time I will stop fussing and enjoy spending time with them (also I home educate for petes sake, no way can I have a tidy house with them home all day!)

That life is going to be hectic with a very active two (nearly 3) year old, a sports mad, playstation addict, loud, boistrous 9 year old boy and a 11 year old "tween" (whatever,like, whatever) girl, and to just try a bit harder to go with the flow!)

I have also thought a lot about where my time goes, and my main concern is that I am not spending enough quality time with my elder two. This problem was emphasised on the way home today when Danny said that he missed our old house. Well this house is so much better, he has his own room, we have a bigger, better garden, the area is nicer etc etc. I asked him why,and he said that he missed sitting watching UK Gold on TV in the evenings (we cannot get that channel where we live) and I said that surely he didnt miss our old home just because of a TV channel, and he said No, he missed me sitting with him. I felt upset, for him and for me,as I missed it too. I miss being "normal" - as now I have to lay beside James while he sleeps (well I did used to anyway, but I would sit downstairs and he would fall asleep on my lap - now I am scared he will get over tired, triggering off a seizure, so I always make sure we are in bed early (ish) and settled). Consequently, Mike, Becky and Danny are sat downstairs together, without me,and they miss me, and I miss them. But tonight,James settled down straight away, in my arms, downstairs, so I was able to sit with them, huddled on the sofa with a quilt - it was lovely (although I had to keep shushing them so they wouldnt wake him!).
In realising how hard it is to fit everything in, dividing my time as a wife and mother of three, I am going to try and use every minute up - there are 1440 minutes in a day - I sleep for 7 hours so that leaves me 1020 minutes - so I can:

Hug one of my children - takes not more than 30 seconds.
Hug my husband- same time, bit longer if he moves in with a kiss:-]
Make my children a cup of hot chocolate with squirty cream - 3 minutes
Play hangman - 5 minutes
Wrestle (children) 10 minutes
Brush Beckys hair - 5 minutes
Read Thomas, Fireman Sam, Peppa pig to James -5 minutes (maybe less if he is distracted)
Do a jigsaw with James 5 minutes (same applies).
Paint Beckys nails - 10 minutes
Play basketball/netball with Becky/Danny - 10 minutes.
Have a conversation with Mike about his OU study - 3 seconds - only kidding, its way too complicated for me, but will give it a go!
I could go on and on - my point is, and this point is to myself - is that I do not have to beat myself up about not spending enough time with my family one to one, but I CAN try and spend more quality time with them, may take as little as a minute, but that minute can mean a lot.

Take care - enjoy the weekend - every minute of it.
Lou x