Yes, I actually went camping.

Well, in the back garden, but its a start.

About a month ago we decided to look for tent .

 Now, everyone, well, mostly everyone, have always said that I don't like camping because of the roughing it, and where would I plug my hair dryer and straighteners etc but if truth be told, and I am going to tell the truth, I am scared of the dark.  Which is why I have lots of lights left on when I go to bed, I know this is not environmentally friendly, but I do do my bit (do do?). \But I am scared of everything there is to be scared of when it is dark. Bogeymen, burglars, bats, owls (they sound scary) creaks, wolves, foxes, and of course everything that I cant see, that I just know is waiting to get me the minute I poke my head out from under the duvet.

Bored with going on about that now - but I have been camping before, with Mike when I was 26 (pre kids)  and we camped at Camelford which I did not realise until I got there was practically on Bodmin Moor - and we all know what lives there - The Beast.  I was quite scared.

But camping with Mike and the kids out in the garden was a real treat, and I am looking forward to going camping, for two whole days in a week or so.

The above tent was £10 from the local reclamation centre - in good condition too.

We have also been to Trago - bit of a nightmare there as it was heaving, couldn't find what we wanted but did enjoy a ride on the steam train

On Friday we met up with friends and went on the Roman Wall Walk - very interesting.  Had a picnic first on the Cathedral Green, then started on the walk. We managed half of it, so will go back and do the other half another time.

 Our guide telling us where we have to go :-)

 Rougemont Castle

 Where the Moat would have been.

Although not strictly part of the wall, the castle was

an important part of the city’s defences. Built in 1068

following the Norman siege of Exeter, it established a

foothold of control for the Normans over the previously

rebellious citizens of Exeter. This gatehouse is the

oldest standing castle building in Britain.

 This isn't part of the Roman Walk, but had to mention it - a famous pigeon

Ah, at last, a photo of The Roman Wall.

-

Hope you all have a good week.
Louise Jane x

Lots of change

Well, a bit of change.

New HE Groups - planning a Group for September, also Becky and Danny will be able to start their Spanish and Science lessons again next term at a new venue on a different day.   Becky started back at Singing this week, new venue, with her favourite singing teacher Jackie Oates.

Other Changes - may be putting our house up for sale.

So, other news - Mike passed the level one course in Rugby Coaching.  He spent two days in Taunton completing this,and he only ached for one day afterwards, got a few injuries though.  Also in his one to one with the coach, he was told that he wasn't loud enough, and probably needed to raise his voice a bit more to be heard - my local friends will see the irony in this :-)

Popped in to see HE  friend yesterday, for a quick coffee -  James was totally distraught when we had to leave as L's room is chocca fool of wonderful toys. 

Athletics - Danny continued with Discus Practice and Becky did the Long Jump.  Not a lot of opportunity for Sprints for her at the moment, so may take her to the track for a session, just to give her some idea of what her times are, as it has been two years since she last ran in a competition.

Danny has been told he is allowed to throw in the under 15's discus competition coming up, just got the email through this morning, so will ask him if he is up to it, and will also see if Becky is up for the 100m sprint, unfortunately the last time she ran she fell over and hurt her knee quite badly, so she is nervous about falling over again, but she did really enjoy sprinting - its knowing whether to push her in this area or not!

So, Wednesday today, and Mike is back at work after a 10 day break,  group for us, first time in a while.

Have a good day
Lou x

Hubbies 40th Birthday

Yes, he has now joined me in the "40 is the new 20 because 60 is the new 40" club.

We had planned to go out for the day as a family, but because the weather forecast has been grim for most of thel week, we decided to decide on the day.  I was not prepared, however, for it to be raining, as that is what the forecasters had predicted three days earlier, and I ignored them.

So, after we had given him all of his presents (bar one - bloody e-bay, negative feedback on way) mainly Cd's and rugby books and rugby tops, we went out for breakfast.

Still raining.

Came home and decided to get on a train, which is a novelty for Mike, and headed off to Barnstaple on the Tarka Line, which follows the  river valleys of the Yeo and Taw. From Eggesford to Barnstaple the line forms part of the Tarka Trail, a 180 mile long distance route tracing the journeys of 'Tarka the Otter' in Henry Williamson's classic novel.

When we got to Barnstaple it had stopped raining and looked brighter and we went onto the museum, with collections and displays that cover the natural and human history of  North Devon, which  include the Tarka Gallery, the Story of North Devon and the Regimental Collection of the Royal Devon Yeomanry.

 :-

Then a walk alongside the river then  onto Rocks Park

Back on the train - starts to rain again - and onto my parents house for birthday take-away and Birthday Cake (Spanish Fruit Cake that I made with my boys as it is his fav - Beks made choccy muffins - her speciality).

Home, with a very tired Jamsey, so I had to take him straight up to bed, while the others watched Gulliver's Travels which apparently was very good, and I got on with blogging about my Happiness Project

Lovely day all round, and guess what, now it has stopped raining.

Hope you all have a good weekend
Lou x

Happiness Project - June - Research

Happiness Project for June - Spending more quality time with my children.

One of the books  that Gretchen Rubin mentions in her Happiness Project is St Therese Lisieux.  I read her Biography last year, - her philosophy was that; what was important was not doing great works, but doing little things with the power of love.

This is something I have been trying to put into action towards my spending more quality time with my children.


Also I have been reading Parenting is Heart Work by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller.

From the book

"Sometimes family life becomes very familiar, and people stop greeting or acknowledging each other. Hugging your children as part of a greeting or welcoming them to breakfast in the morning makes an important statement about the value of your relationship"

Also Rob Parsons talks about the importance of communication, and making sure we spend time talking and listening to our children in one of the chapters in his book The Sixty Minute Family

He suggests having family meals around the table.  Stephen R Covey talks about this in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families

"We all have to eat. The way to the heart, the mind, the soul is often through the stomach. It takes careful thought and determination but its possible to organize meaningful mealtimes - without television, without just gulping things down on the run. Family meals are important even if you have one family meal each week"

So what gets in all the way of this family stuff - is it so I can go out and "do lunch" with my lady friends, have a long luxurious bubble bath, have my hair done, have a manicure, pedicure, Brazilian wax (ouch)?!

No, its just stuff, and lots of it.  Three Kids, a husband, a house, pets, cooking, finances, Home Educating, talking on the phone, facebook, blogging, rubbing hard skin off your feet, sorting out squabbles and on and on.  Which is why it is good to follow the advice of Ms Lisieux  and try and remember the little things.

So with housework being the main thing that eats up all of my time and gets in the way of all the nice stuff, I thought this passage from Richard Carlson in Don't Sweat the Small Stuff was relevant to my cause:-

"One day it dawned on me that taking care of a home is much like painting the Golden Gate Bridge, and thinking of it in these terms has been an enormous relief in my life. 
Like most people, I used to get overwhelmed about the care and  maintenance of our home, If something was in  need of repair or disoriented, it would make me nervous and frustrated.  Looking back , it seems that I was frustrated  most of the time, because it seemed like something was always wrong with our home. It was if I felt that there would come a time when it would somehow  all be done, and I fantasized, when it was finally finished, I'd be able to feel relaxed and satisfied.
Well, several years later the house is still "in process" there are still jobs to be done and in a way its exactly like the Golden Gate Bridge. Its never done - and it never will be.  My guess is that if you look at your home in this way it will be a tremendous source of relief.  In all likelihood, you ll have even great appreciation for the things that do get finished and less frustration over the things that don't"

This is good for me to remember, as I am always finding lots of things to do and getting stressed out because of it.  I like to go out a lot with the children, because while I am out they have my attention and I am not distracted by a dirty wall, or a window that needs cleaning

In the Continuum concept, she said that you need to be able to get on with your jobs for the day and your children should learn to be able to keep themselves occupied (she is not talking about tiny tots here)  If they are toddlers/pre-schoolers then you will have to slow down and involve them in what you are doing, be it baking, cleaning, gardening etc.

Also from my daily emails - The Daily Grove from Enjoy Parenting -

:Having a "bad parenting day"?

Whatever you're stressing about -- your child won't
stop whining... you're way behind on the laundry...
the baby nursed "all" night long... you yelled at the
kids *again*... etc., etc. -- remember there are two
components to every problem:
    1. The actual condition
    2. Your *belief* that it IS a problem
In other words, you don't *have to* perceive the
condition to be wrong or bad.
Would a baby see your mountain of dirty laundry as a
problem? No, because wee ones see the world AS IT IS.
They haven't been trained (yet) to pass judgment on
Reality, so they don't see the problems we see.
Well, if a baby can do it, you can, too! :-)
Today, try letting go of the idea that conditions
"should" be different than they are. Simply accept
them...
"No problem... It is what it is."
But don't confuse acceptance with defeat. You can be
accepting and still desire change. And change happens
*easily* when you're at peace with What Is.

More advice really on not worrying about having a perfect house.lifestyle etc, - its just a case of trying your best and not feeling guilty when you don't get everything done and you don't get everything right.

Lysa Terkeurst, mother of five, mentions this in her book - "Am I Messing Up My Kids" - she thinks its time that mothers relax and  let go of guilt.

But it is difficult.

When I am trying to get everything done,  if, in the middle of something I am trying to complete, whether it is the washing, cleaning the toilet, cooking a meal - whatever,  one of my children start to complain or need something done, bicker, moan etc,  my patience starts to wear thin, and 9 times out of 10 I do not deal with them fairly or in a nice calm gentle way.

Then I go through the whole rigmarole of telling them how I just want to get the washing/cleaning/cooking done, and of course I mention that no-one else is going to do it, and cant she/he/they just occupy themselves for 5 minutes until I get it done.  Well, for one thing it is usually way more than 5 minutes.

Usually most adults will overreact if someone has touched upon a nerve.  So when my children come to me with a problem or a question or a request, I know deep down that I should give them my attention  and so my guilty conscience makes me react in this unkind way.

So, remembering "the little things" would it really be so bad to just put the laundry basket down and stop - how important is my washing pile to my own children.  Easier said then done though.  But I would like to try.

 I do think it is a good idea to get your children involved in helping out around the house, and with anything else that you feel you really have to get done.  Becky and Danny get pocket money and we have juat increased it. We have made it clear that they have to do their chores in order to get their pocket moneyand they also have to do it with a good heart  - ie no huffing, puffing, sneering, tutting, walking round with sagging shoulders like I have asked them to walk on hot coals, rolling eyes or complaining.

But it would be nice if they co-operated with me,rather than me threatening to take away their pocket money.  So am I dealing with it in the right way?

Which brings me on to a book I am currently reading - Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

Children and Choices - "All people ought to have some control in their own lives. In the case of children, of course, there are limits to how much control and what kind; plenty of things have to be decided for them, particularly when they are young.  But that doesn't negate the basic principal.  I believe our default position ought to be  to make kids make decisions about matters that concern them except when there is a compelling reason for us to override that right.  We should be prepared to justify, why, in each case, kids shouldn't be allowed to choose".

So, I will try and think about giving them more control and more choices, maybe along the lines of:

you don't have to do all the chores I ask of you, but you can maybe do only some of them and not get as much pocket money
or
give them a choice of 2 or 3 chores so they can pick what they would like to to do.

I also remember years ago, a fellow home edder, now turned schooly, having a set amount for activities each month for her children to do. She said it was up to her children to decide what it was to be spent on, within reason of course.  Maybe I will do this in relation to what trips they choose to go on each month.

So, enough research , now its time to try and put these things into action, and I will record my experience here during the rest of June.
Just a thought though - In the Continuum Concept, she mentions that it is strange that we just do not get on and mother our children in the best way we know how as human beings, but rely on books to teach us how to do this, usually written by a man.

Hmmmm


Lou x

The Romans are here

:-

Went to a Roman Workshop in Exeter, met up with some friends, then back to their house for coffee - lovely day.

In Full Armour (well apart from his skate shoes)

Art and Craft

Making Masks

A "real" Roman Soldier

Then preparing for battle

While the "enemy" waited with their weapons (plastic coloured balls in this case)

If you notice, James has deserted the Roman Army and has joined the other side.

Lou x