Time at School

I have been asked to record my childrens experience at school - so here it is:-

Firstly to explain my situation - My youngest son, then aged 2 had his first seizure in November 2009, followed by several more and eventually being diagnosed with Tonic Clonic Epilepsy.


During a period of regular seizures, (which I have to stress are terrifying) my husband and I decided that our eldest two children (then aged 11 and 9) would be better off at school. Mainly because our home life had become very difficult, and we were not getting out, and our lives revolved around our youngest son and his seizures, and frequent visits to the hospital (many rushed in by ambulance). We felt that we had to get some normality back into their lives, and school seemed to us at the time a "normal" thing for them to be doing, and both children were very enthusiastic about it.



Having visited the school on the Thursday, they were able to start the following Monday.



Day 1 -

Reports back from both children seemed OK at first. Both very excited at this new experience, and also having not been to local HE Groups for a few months, they were both very keen to mix with other children again.

My eldest mentioned to me that the dinner ladies were very strict, especially with the younger children, and one child was forced to eat one potato that he left (he was in year 1) while the dinner lady stood over him. My daughter was very distressed by this, and also confused at the fact that the children around her did not seem bothered that this was happening. She also mentioned that there seemed to be a lot of young children crying at break times.



My son (aged 9) seemed to enjoy the day, but said he struggled a bit with the Maths (he never had problems before).



Day 2



Both went off in the morning very keen, which was disappointing for me, but still a relief (I secretly wanted them to hate it so I could take them out and rule it out as an option).

At the end of the school day, as I waited for them outside their classrooms (they always kept them in at least 5 minutes after the bell sounded - I asked my children why and they said it was because they all had to be quiet and still, and until every child did this, no-one was aloud to go home) they still seemed to be enjoying it.

Once home they chatted to me about their day.



My son's teacher had requested copies of any maths I had done with him so she could see where he was at - as he was having problems. I asked my son what he did in his maths lesson. He said that she was teaching them decimals - but he really didn't understand what she was talking about, and she didn't have time to sit and explain. I said I would talk to her the next day ( he never had problems with decimals before).

My daughter had a fairly good day, but was still disturbed at the amount of distressed children there were at break times. She said she asked a little girl why she was crying and she told her that she was upset about something that had happened, and my daughter sat with her, but there were no teachers around to help this child, who was sat sobbing in the playground.

Both my children were also concerned about one poor boy who got picked on every break time, by children of all ages. He was of course a "geek" who wore glasses, and wasn't trendy etc etc. Apparently this warranted him getting kicked, pushed, shouted at and teased.



Day 3



Both OK about going in again, although my daughter was showing signs of missing being at home. My son still seemed keen.

I didn't get to speak to my sons teacher about the maths in the morning, so I asked my son if he could ask her for some extra homework so I could go through it with him at home.

When I came to pick my children up at 3.30 (let out at 3.38 - 8 minutes is a long time for a child to wait - especially if they are not aloud to speak or move) I was told by by son that his teacher was not aloud to give him extra home work, and would I please send in some of his previous work for her to look at.



When we got home I asked him again what she was trying to teach - he said it was to do with decimals and adding up, but she made it sound so complicated. After talking to him about it during the evening, I discovered that it was basically adding up with a decimal point, so I explained it to him, and he understood it within a few minutes, then thought it was easy - and me not being a qualified teacher too! I asked my son how he was getting on with the other boys in the class - he said he had made friends, but there was one nasty boy, so he just kept away from him.

My daughter was not so pleased with her day - having realised now that they had to do English and Maths all morning every morning.

Also in the afternoon they had a debate - this is the example her teacher used as an argument for a debate " for instance, I think ALL children should HAVE to go to school, as it is VERY important for all children to get a decent education" . My daughter was very annoyed at this.

Having started the week being very popular with the other girls (my daughter is very tall,fashionable and very pretty - which makes her the "right" type of girl to be friends with) this now was starting to wear thin. Why? Firstly they were getting annoyed with her because she was nice to the younger children. Also while they were in the queue for dinner, her "friends" were taking the micky out of a girl who couldn't speak properly. My daughter asked them to leave her alone. This was against the "cool" rules of course.



Day 4 -

Off again in the morning, but my concerns were with my youngest son who was showing warning signs of a seizure.



When I went to pick them up in the afternoon, they were OK, but not as happy as they were on day 1.

That evening my daughter said she was wasn't sure she wanted to go back, but my son thought he did, but wasn't 100%.

At about 6.30pm my youngest son had a seizure, and was taken to hospital by ambulance.

After being checked out, given the all clear, we all came home, deciding then that as it was very late (gone 12) that they didn't have to go to school the next day. Both were pleased about this.



Day 5 - I rang the school in the morning and explained the situation. The secretary said that was fine, they could come in at lunchtime, having just told her they wouldn't be in at all that day, so I repeated to her that no, they wouldn't be going in that day, and again she said, no no, they will be fine, they really should come in for the afternoon. I said no, and that I would be in touch.



We had a long discussion - they did not want to go back EVER.

They told us that it really was awful.



My daughter had spoken to the "geek" - her "friends" shouted at her, then one pushed her over (bearing in mind that she was the tallest in her year, including boys, she was then 5ft 2 ) and as she got up another girl pushed her back down again - because she had spoken to this boy.



She also said that her teacher shouted at them all the time - if he asked the class to do something, put away their books, get in line etc and one or two didn't do it, then the whole class got shouted out - that they were all useless. She said she wanted to shout at him and say that it wasn't all of them, so why was he shouting at all of them.



They both said that the feared assembly's, as this was the time that ALL the teachers were issuing threats and punishments, for talking, not sitting still etc. The punishment was 20/20 time - this meant that instead of having their break, they would have to go in the 20/20 room, to sit and talk about what they had done. So their break time was taken away from them. On top of this, in assembly you were also only aloud to sit where the most popular kids would let you. My son said that he went to sit down and an older girl sneered at him and told him to move - it was only when another girl told her that he was my daughters sister, that he was aloud to sit back down again (as I said, my daughter is accepted as being the "right" type).

My son was also finding it difficult in the lessons. The teacher was continually pointing out to the others how well he behaved, and why couldn't they be more like him. He said he could see his friends starting to not like him because of this, and he had already decided to not do so well, just so he would have friends there (thankfully this didn't happen as he didn't go back).

The final straw for my son was in an art lesson. Now of course I am biased, but he really is exceptional at art. In this art class, the teacher looked at his drawing and turned her nose up, pointed out where she thought he had gone wrong, and asked him to do it again, in an annoyed way. This was in front of the class and he felt extremely embarrassed.

After 4 days of school, my daughter hated maths, which after history was her favourite subject. She said that they had 5 minute tests every morning, and the timer went off at the end of the test. She said she got loads wrong, not because she didn't know the correct answer, but she was always being rushed.



Having made the decision not to send them back - I phoned the Head to tell him. He made the mistake of asking me why. So I told him most of the above. Of course it was my word, and my children's word against all the teachers, and I didn't expect there was a lot he could do, but I did ask him to please, please, stop this one boy from being bullied every single break time of every single school day. He promised he would.



There are probably parents out there who think that I should have let them stay in a bit longer to get used to it - get used to being pushed over, shouted at, humiliated, scared to move, blink, breathe out of place - I think not

I have to point out that my children up until this point had never been to school. They are both very confident and outgoing. They mix well with other children and have good relationships with adults. They mix with other school children - my son plays in the Under 10 rugby team for his town, my daughter plays netball for a local team - and goes to Dance and Drama Classes, and they both compete in athletics competitions for their local club. My point here is to not brag about how brilliant my children are (because of course they are) but to emphasise that they are not timid, shy, awkward children, who would find it hard to fit in. They proved that by how well they fitted in with the other children in their school within the first couple of days. But school made them feel awkward, useless, lacking in confidence and wary of adults. Thankfully though, as they were only in school for four whole days, these feelings did not last long, and they are back to their happy confident selves (and my youngest son has his Epilepsy under control ) so happy ending all round.



Not for the poor "geek" boy though, I reckon.



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