The Golden Gate Bridge

Despite the fact that it seems I never get much done, I seem to not stop for very long, but I never seem to be doing anything really productive. So it seems.

A woman I know is very efficient and extremely house proud.  She has two teenage children  and she works 4 days a week. I am in awe of her sometimes as everything is in order, and she is a stickler for keeping to her routines.   The complete opposite of me.

Yesterday morning I decided to write a list, from booking dentists and hair appointments, meal planning, laundry, type letters, post letters, make phone calls  - these were just a few things on my list, including typing a post on this blog as this is my "me" time as I find it relaxing and fulfilling.  Of course while I tackled the list, I still had to look after my 5 year old, and help my older two with their work.

Looking back on the list I  realised that each job was one of a bitty kind, nothing major, each one probably taking a few minutes each, the kind where until you have ticked off every job on the list, isn't very fulfilling. Also by the time you have ticked everything off the list, lots of other little jobs have built up again.

The woman I mentioned previously always tackles big projects, and is usually able to see the job through from start to finish without any interruptions and usually with help from her kids. Also her children are older.

I for instance, have just had to put the laptop down to go out to the kitchen to sort out a broken glass incident, then Danny wanted help starting his ICT, and to not go into too much detail, James is having toilet problems.

This is the kind of thing that happens on most days.

So I am glad that I always have a book on the go about raising families, as I re-read them and some times certain things surface from the muddle of my brain and make me think - a little:-

This is a chapter from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff with Your Family by Richard Carlson

Think of taking care of your home like painting the bridge.

"An architect once told me something that truly amazed me about the amount of work it took to maintain the Golden Gate Bridge in San Fransisco Bay Area.  He said the bridge is painted every day of the year.  In other words, by the time the work is done, its time to start over.  Its never done!  Instead, it's literally an ongoing process.  Furthermore, in the absence of this constant care, the bridge would be in jeopardy of expensive wear and tear as well as more cosmetic consequences.

One day it dawned on me that taking care of a home is much like painting this extraordinary bridge.  And thinking of it in these terms has been an enormous relief in my life.

Like most people, I used to get overwhelmed about the care and maintenance of our home.  If something was in need of repair or disorganised, it would make me nervous and frustrated.  Looking back, it seems that I was frustrated most of the time, because it seemed like something was always wrong with our home - a sink needed repair, a room needed paint, the attic needed cleaning, the dishes needed to be washed, a closet was a mess, weeds needed to be pulled, and so forth. It was as if I felt that  there would come a time when it would somehow all be done.  And, I fantasised, when it was finally finished, I'd be able to feel relaxed and satisfied.

Well, several years later, the house is till "in process".  the weeds still need to be pulled, the attic still gets messy, dishes are still in the sink and my daughters rooms need paint once again! In a way, its exactly like the Golden Gate Bridge,.  Its never done - and it never will be.  The only difference is that now I understand and have accepted this fact about having a home.

Looking at my home in this way has been a tremendous relief. Now, instead of panicking or overreacting when something isn't finished or needs to be done, I'm able to keep it in much better perspective.  I'm not suggesting that I don't work hard to keep things in good repair and orderly -I do, only I'm not nearly as attached to completing the project.

My guess is that if you look at your home in this way it will be a tremendous source of relief.  In all likelihood, you ll have even greater appreciation for the things that do get finished and less frustration over those things that dont."

Well, I am off now to paint my bridge x